As a privileged academic vagabond, I spent four years in Singapore to complete my secondary school degree. One day on my way to school, the Singaporean taxi-driver asked me where I was from. Already knowing where the conversation was going, I reluctantly told him that I was Indonesian. Predictably, he continued to ask me if I could speak Chinese and upon hearing my negative reply, he started reprimanding me for not preserving my Chinese roots: “Aiya! You don’t speak Chinese in Indonesia, is it? Those natives are horrible. How can they ban the ethnic Chinese from speaking their own language? Look at you — you’re Chinese, not Indonesian! If you were Indonesian you wouldn’t be persecuted by your own countrymen.”

I was undoubtedly outraged by his condescending comments towards my country, but for the most part, I was disturbed by the fact that I was disturbed. The driver’s remarks made me think of something that I hadn’t really thought much of before: What exactly am I? Am I Chinese or Indonesian? Does the language that I speak determine my cultural background? I felt strongly for Indonesia but I was not quite sure why. I was born Indonesian but I grew up knowing only Chinese norms and values. I was Indonesian mainly because I spoke Indonesian, ate Indonesian food and, well, lived in Indonesia. After all, I don’t really know that many native pribumis — I went to an almost all Chinese primary school and all my neighbors were Chinese. I was never really interested in finding out more about Indonesia, but that is probably because we were already being spoon-fed with ridiculous volumes of Indonesian history and constitutional records. I had no complaints about the distinct socio-economic division between the ethnic Chinese and the pribumis because I thought that was how things had always been. It was only during the 1998 riots when I realized how fatal the conflict was.

Indonesia was under the dictatorial rule of Suharto for the longest time. It was only a matter of time before a dramatic revolt would occur to topple his regime. The effort culminated in 1998 when hundreds of students organized a series of demonstrations demanding the corrupt president to step down. The demonstrations took a nasty turn, however, when native mobs took advantage of the tumultuous atmosphere to vent their anger toward the Chinese Indonesians. While the students were fighting for political reformation, these mobs took matters into their hands. They broke into ethnic Chinese homes and stores, looted and destroyed their properties, bullied the men, and raped the women. Families were burned alive in their homes. The international airport was swarmed with hundreds of people waiting for the next available flight out of the country, if they were lucky enough to get to the airport. Trucks of mobs blocked the road leading to the airport in an attempt to prevent anyone from fleeing the country. It was easier for those with the financial resources because they could bribe a few police officers to escort them, but it did not do much to guarantee their safety.

The 1998 riots proved that money was nothing but a cause for jealousy and animosity. As a child, I knew that the ethnic Chinese were generally more prosperous than the natives. The Chinese make up only four percent of the total population but control up to seventy percent of the economy. Chinese-owned Indonesian conglomerates possess immense amounts of wealth. They own private banks and food industries among many other industrial giants. In fact, upper class figures are so prominent that the common mass knows them by their first names only. These aristocrats drive European cars, wear designer clothes, and live in exclusive residential complexes. But wealth was pretty much the only thing that the Chinese possessed. Even with all their material wealth, I have never seen but one Indonesian Chinese in the parliament. This lack of political representation poses an important question: Are the Chinese Indonesians really part of the nation or are they there for purely hedonistic purposes?

Whether they realize it or not, the Chinese Indonesian community has allowed the Indonesian government to suppress their culture and stifle their voices in exchange for material prosperity. As of today, there are still approximately sixty laws that function to the disadvantage of the Chinese Indonesian community. Not only did the government prohibit the formation of a Chinese political party, it banned the production and importation of any printed materials bearing Chinese characters. The Chinese are required to take up Indonesian-sounding names and are given special codes put on their identification cards to indicate ethnic Chinese origin. The establishment of five officially recognized national religions, which include Islam, Catholicism, Protestantism, Hinduism and Buddhism, rules out the possibility for fundamental Chinese beliefs such as Confucianism to be freely embraced by the community. Laws forbid Chinese religious festivals to be conducted in public and limit the observation of Chinese traditions to within the household. The government insists that the only reason behind the implementation of these laws is to encourage assimilation, but that was never the case. For example, Indonesians are obliged by law to use the derogatory term “Cina” to address the ethnic Chinese instead of the preferred term “Tionghoa.” This institutionalized racism dispels the euphemism that the government puts forth to veil its prejudice against its small-eyed, fair-skinned citizens. Power is obviously something that the Indonesian government is not willing to share with its ethnic Chinese citizens.

It is true that the Chinese dominate most of the economy, but they don’t really have much say in determining their own future. The almost non-existent ethnic Chinese presence in the executive, legislative, and judicial branches speaks volumes about the lack of good faith and interaction between the Chinese and native Indonesians. It would be fair to mention that some progress had been made during Abdurrahman Wahid’s brief presidency from 1999 to 2001, but he only repealed one of these oppressive laws. Now the Chinese Indonesians get to openly celebrate Chinese New Year again, but should they be all grateful just because they are entitled to enjoy what is inherently a basic human right? Yes, Chinese New Year is now officially recognized as a national holiday and yes, the officials do go around wearing traditional Chinese attire, but only after hundreds have been physically and mentally harassed. Those who could afford to leave have fled the country in search of a better, more secure life wherever it is, be it in Singapore, America or even China. Are those who were once persecuted now embraced as part of the nation only after most of them have fled the country carrying billions of dollars with them and thus upsetting the economic pillar of the country?

There is no doubt that something has to be done to remedy the situation. It is important that the Chinese establish their identity within the Indonesian society, so they can advance not only as private business owners but also as citizens of the nation. Minor steps have been taken to raise awareness within the Chinese community, but equality is still a far fetched idea. Even if there is progress, it is slow indeed. It is only if members of the Chinese Indonesian community are willing to educate themselves and actively participate in the struggle to propose equality within their own country will harmony be achieved. It is up to the youth who have been exposed to this imminent crisis to determine the fate of the country, for they are the future politicians, historians, journalists, and business owners. The first step of obtaining higher education is already evident in the presence of several Chinese Indonesians in the international student body here in Berkeley, as well as at other academic institutions worldwide. But whether or not they will be willing to contribute their services toward the progress of their home country is another question. It is instrumental that the interests of Chinese Indonesians are taken into consideration and included in the national political agenda if Indonesia is to become a true democratic country. Who better to fulfill this task but the Chinese Indonesians themselves?

In spite of the difficulties faced by the Chinese Indonesians, Indonesia is still their motherland. Indonesia is the place where they grow up, where they have some of their fondest memories. It is what shapes their identity and makes them distinct from other ethnic Chinese groups. It is imperative that the Chinese Indonesians fight for their rightful place in their own country.

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