This is the madlib that we came up with at our first decal meeting last week. I thought it would be epic to post it today because it’s 09/09/09 :)
This morning, I was awakened by the squeak of the platypus outside my window. As I ran out of bed, I thought to myself, today is a scintillating day. I was inspired to become a more active coal miner and get involved in San Francisco. The weather was excellent to hop down Sproul. I was on my way to Bancroft when I bumped into a shopping cart. “What’s this”, I thought to myself. The shopping cart was old and vomit green. I looked up at saw Rose slowly passing out newsmagazines and decided to take one for myself. But just as I was about to get my own copy of hardboiled, I saw another person twirling around with a magnifying glass.
“What are you looking for?” I suspiciously asked.
“I’m looking for trees. Have you seen any?” he responded.
He then explained that he was an investigative plumber, looking for the latest scoop on Asian American democracy to report on. Then the girl with the tools and newsmagazines came over and said, “Why don’t you check out hardboiled! It’ll meet all of your needs.”
Since I only like my eggs raw anyways, I decided to check it out and it was a lot of fun! :)
The end.
Ok. Consumerism = evil. BUT I have to say that my heart skipped a beat when I was perusing the aisles of Target and found “Ni Hao, Kai Lan!” merchandise dominating the kids’ section. Heck. Yes.
For those of you who aren’t up to date on your Nick Toons, Ni Hao, Kai Lan! is the Mandarin version of Dora the Explorer. Thanks to Dora, shows that promote biculturalism have become more popular. Kai Lan is not only adorable but she’s one of the few rising Asian AMERICAN cartoons sans martial arts and probably the only Asian American cartoon for a 2-6 demographic.
You can check out the merchandise here (Consumerism is less evil when your dollars go towards bolstering the new face of bicultural media, I swear!) And you can check out my article on Kai Lan from a couple issues ago here (<– Read: shameless self-promotion — definitely kidding).
A little PR for some artists I’ve come across recently…
Goh Nakamura and Jane Lui
Cafe Du Nord (for all ages)
2170 Market St in San Francisco
Tues. June 30th at 8 pm
Tickets are $10 at the door
Goh has a very mellow sound (think Jason Mraz/Jack Johnson with a more melancholy twist to some lyrics). Jane has an incredibly soulful voice. Jane won the 2008 San Diego Music Awards for Best Recording. (Other nominees in the category included Lady Danville who was listed in last semester’s hb playlist). Jane is a Chinese American from San Diego and Goh is a Japanese American who lives in San Francisco.
Come show your support :) And if you can’t make it, have a listen to their music online. you can also go to myspace.com/user/gohnakamura and myspace.com/janeshands
Have to admit it– it was a pretty funny movie. Who wouldn’t laugh at the awkward Allan? Of course they did have to throw in the effeminate Asian male to top of the hysterics. Mr. Chow, played by Ken Jeong, is a gay, martial arts ass-kicking machine. Ken Jeong has had one hell of a career in Hollywood thus far in shows and movies such as Entourage, Knocked Up, and Step Brothers. He played the illustrious role of the coffee shop manager, doctor 2, and the coroner respectively…
So clearly breaking into Hollywood is hard and maybe after a while you’ll take anything to get your name out there. But come on, Jeong, have a little dignity. Running around butt naked on the big screen, kung-foo-ing, and shouting in shrill broke English (when you really can speak perfect English) about your man purse is humiliating. Way to bring something new to the cinematic plate as an Asian American male.
Admit it. There must still be LOST fans out there, I can’t possibly be the only one who is still keeping up with this show. It’s not because it’s especially extraordinary or anything, but purely because I want to know what the freak is going on with this creepy Island. But more importantly, who else is psyched that JIN IS ALIVE?
NOT DEAD!
As painful as it is to listen to him yell in Korean and speak with a fake Asian accent to fulfill the stereotype of an angry hypermasculine Korean man, perhaps 80% of the reason why I keep watching this show is because of him and Sun.
I’m psyched to see how his revival will play out, especially now that Sun’s coming back. Alright, hidden LOST fans. Come out of the shadows and tell me that I’m not alone.
I am absolutely not going to refute the claim that Google is pretty much the reason why the universe functions these days BUT I do have to say that they could do a tad more to amp up their political correctness. It’s a total coincidence that Annie’s last blog is about Google because just last night I was watching the latest Wong Fu snippet (It’s hilarious and you should check it out!) when low and behold a couple Google ads popped up at the bottom of the youtube screen. Mind you this is no exaggeration:
Ad 1: “Want to date some sexy ASIAN LADIES? Go online to visit our dating website.”
(i am not going to list said website b/c some creeper will probably go visit it for said reason).
Ad 2:”Hot Chinese Girls” + link to stupid website #2.
(Once again, no free advertisement for you, racist “Hot Chinese Girls” website!)
Ad 3: “Enroll in Martial Arts Classes NOW!”
Yes, because Wong Fu = Asians = Bruce Lee = Martial Arts … duh.
Really, Google, really? Someone needs to fix that shizz asap.
Yes, this is yet another ridiculous martial arts movie to crush my spirit. It’s coming out at the end of the month and it looks completely absurd. The movie is based on a popular video game and its cast consists of predominantly white male actors …and Kristin Kreuk of Smallville fame. So there you have it– another over-the-top kung fu movie that will probably exotify and hypersexualize the cute, little (part) Asian girl. The blog, /Film, stated that they were happy that Kreuk does not don the Chinese outfit and ox horn hairdo that is in the video game. To that I say, “To hell with the subtleties, if you’re going to be cliche and racist than why not go all out?” (read with immense sarcasm).
The basic plot synopsis: Kreuk’s character seeks revenge after daddy is kidnapped, trains to be kung-fu warrior (by a white guy with black hair extensions?!), and kicks butt while looking pretty for the camera. Watching the trailer definitely reminded me of that awful show that premiered last year, “Samurai Girl.” Hey mainstream media, if you’re going to be racist can you at least get a little more creative? Yeah, thanks.
